Succedaneous
by WindyWords123
Summary: Hers was a cruel race, calm and cruel and old. And his was a young race, one who fought and felt and fell all too easily... The Doctor and Rose switch places. Exceedingly AU. DoctorxRose, or more accurately HuntressxJoss.
1. Joss -- Part One

_Okay, this author's note is going to be really long because I'm not gonna censor my babbling. It's not _terribly_ important, so you can skip it if you like._

_First of all, the basic idea, as I hope you've gathered, is that Rose and the Doctor essentially switched places. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to just go through and alter the dialogue a bit in places but keep everything else the same. Some of the overarching plot of canon will remain, as will a few episodes, like this one and the next one, but there's a whole lot of stuff I really want to mess up with the verse and thus much will be different. Besides, most of us have already _seen_ the original episodes; no reason to repeat them. When I _do_ have to repeat episodes, I try to make them fairly different, although that fell through a bit near the end of this one. _

_I have no idea if the chapters will be this long once I get out of rewriting canon episodes and updates will be extremely scarce. Sorry about that. However, I've got a lot of ideas for this verse, so probably I won't completely abandon it. _

_Succedaneous essentially means 'a substitute'._

_Rose is the Huntress for fairly obvious reasons; I wanted something to connect with the Bad Wolf, even if it's maybe not the best statement about her personality or what she does. The Doctor is Joss because it's a bit like Ross, which is basically a masculine adaption of Rose, and a bit like John, and very whimsical and vaguely French. I thought it fit pretty well. Oh, and by the way, it's the Tenth Doctor. There will be no further character changes; these are the only two that switched._

_Finally, I'm a sucker for happy endings and I _still_ haven't managed to get past the Tenth Doctor in canon. So... if I ever actually get to the End of Time, or even Canary Wharf, expect even more AU-ness. I'm a Doctor/Rose shipper, but I'll try to keep their relationship realistic; I find unrealistic relationships to be worse than realistic relationships that I hate._

_I don't own it and I find it highly unlikely that not saying so would cause problems. As such, I'm not going to do so again._

* * *

**All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant's revolving door.**

**-Albert Camus**

* * *

Get up. Get dressed. Say bye to his mum. Catch the bus. Go to work. Have lunch with Shareen. Back to work. Take the lottery money to Wilson (and why did he always have to do that, again?). Go home. Maybe go out for a pint with his mates. He could practically do it in his sleep.

Sometimes he almost _wanted _Uni to start back up, just as a break from the monotony.

Hmm, where _was _Wilson? That was new, usually he'd be waiting. Not a bad chap, Wilson.

"Wilson? Got the lottery money!" Josselin said.

No response.

Joss tried again; Wilson _was _getting old, after all. "Wilson?" He knocked on his office door.

Now this was getting a bit annoying. Where _was _he? He couldn't just skive off and not tell anyone, he had places to be!

"Wilson, stop mucking about! The shop's closed!"

Faint rattling from the storage area. Feeling a _tiny _bit nervous; it was dark down here, that was all, Joss tried a "Hello? Wilson, what're you doing? It's Joss!"

No response. _Again_. What was going on? "This isn't funny, Wilson! Whatever joke you're trying to play, you can stop it!" He said, cautiously making his way towards the noise.

He opened the storage area door. God, it was pitch black in here. _Well, _he mused, _I wanted a break in the routine_...

Oh, right, there were the lights. Joss turned them on, the action a bit more rushed than he'd like to admit. No one there. This was beginning to get creepy. "Wilson!" He tried, one last time. Nothing.

Something made a crashing noise.

Joss started and turned, but apparently the crash had been the door slamming shut. He was trapped. Joss ran towards it, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. All those creepy dummies weren't helping. He tried the handle, not feeling very hopeful. This was just like a bad horror movie, where one of the hot chicks went to investigate and then –

_I did _not _just call myself a hot chick_, he thought, insulted. Although if he _was _a girl he supposed he _would _be pretty hot –

More banging. Joss swallowed nervously, the momentary lightheartedness disappearing practically instantaneously. "Alright, alright, I get it! This is Derrick, isn't it? Getting back at me for last Friday? I'm _sorry_, Derrick! You can stop now!"

He ventured back into the storage area, trying to ignore the dummies and their staring. _Stop that, they can't stare, they're just dummies._

Something had moved behind him. Joss's head whipped around so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. Stop_ it, Joss! It was probably just a mouse or something. And the crashes were just... really big mice. That can lock – oh my god._

_It's moving. It's moving _towards me _and oh god I'm gonna die I'm too pretty to die! I can't die yet!_

"Derrick! That's, that's very funny! Hahaha, see, hilarious! Now, if you could just, just, ah, stop? I mean, really very funny but the joke's gotten a bit old, hasn't it, and, did you get Mickey to help you, then? Fix up a mechanical skeleton or something – I'm sorry, you two, you can stop! I really mean it!"

They were staring at him and advancing and raising their plastic arms and _he was really going to die and _– that wasn't plastic. Someone was holding his hand?

"Run."

"Why?" He squawked on instinct, and immediately felt stupid. He turned to look at the person who had grabbed his hand.

Strange woman – not that _he _was complaining, mind, cropped brown hair, prominent cheekbones, big ears, hawkish nose but it actually worked rather well for her, and _this really isn't the time Joss you're running from plastic mannequins! _

"Because!" She answered, sounding a bit incredulous but not at all out of breath.

They ran into the elevator, the mannequins advancing, one even sticking an arm through and she just _pulled it off and threw at him. _Joss caught it out of reflex more than anything else. "What was that? They were _plastic_! Plastic is not supposed to be able to move, unless it's mechanical I guess but why would – " He panted.

"Aliens." She interrupted.

"Wait, what?" He shook his head, trying to clear it of the insane nonsense. Finally he gave up.

"Who're you, then?" He said, trying to smile. That had to be a sort of normal topic, right? Couldn't muck that up, right?

Her face twisted into a wolfish grin, and his world changed forever. "I'm the Huntress. Nice to meet you, but I really meant it when I told you to run!" The door opened, and she paused a moment to point a strange glowing, whirring... thing... at the lift button, which sent out a cascade of sparks. She then sprinted away, looking faintly golden in the low light. When no other choice made itself clear, Joss swallowed nervously and followed.

"Okay, so if they're aliens, what kind of aliens are they, then? Are you saying mannequins are of alien origin?" He said, because at least she seemed to know what was going on even if what she said was going on was impossible to believe.

"Autons! By the way, what's your name?" She asked, opening the door to the street as she talked.

"Joss. I mean, umm, Tyler. Josselin. Josselin Tyler." He babbled, not even considering disobeying.

She wrinkled her nose. "Really? I suppose the Tyler bit isn't too bad. Don't tell anyone about all this, Joss Tyler, I'm better off on my own and you could get people killed. Goodbye!" He stood there, not really comprehending, as she slammed the door. She opened it again. "Still there? Forgot to tell you, run! Get out of here as fast as you can! Go on then!"

He followed her advice this time, his brain shorted out for the time being. Aliens? Living plastic? Hot woman in leather jackets? Alright, focus Joss, just narrowly escaped life threatening situation, not really the time!

He was still holding the arm. Joss glared at three shop dummies in a window in passing, speeding up slightly. Why was he still holding the arm? Joss located the nearest bin, dumped it, and kept running. The entire world seemed hostile. Eyes darting nervously from person to shop window to car, Joss crossed the street and narrowly avoided being ran over. _Be careful, Joss! Rest of the world could be out to get you! Well, just the dummy parts of it but same difference!_

And then his job blew up.

It may have been just a summer job, but that didn't make it much better. The Huntress – and that name, there was something about that name – had just _blew his job up. _Had she still been in there? No, couldn't have been. Joss really hoped not, at least, even if she had basically destroyed his job.

For once it was a relief to come home to Jackie and tea and his job on the telly. Blown up. Of course he hadn't been able to move out properly; he barely had enough money for Uni as it was, so Joss spent a lot of time away, but Jackie's chatter was a relief, just this once. Joss was still in shock. The Huntress and his job and living plastic and aliens and where had common sense slunk off to, anyway?

Shareen. Of _course _Shareen had to come over. Just barge right in while he was trying to think, thanks. "Joss! Joss, are you alright? I've been phoning but you didn't pick up! I was so worried! It was on the telly and everything! Why didn't you call me back? I've been phoning you for practically _hours, _Joss." Her glare belied her earlier worrying but that was just Shareen. Contradictions all over.

Joss flinched away from her. "Shareen, I'm fine, I was just a little overwhelmed, y'know? I'm really sorry I didn't call you. Just – I need some time to think about things. That okay?"

"What happened, Joss? Are you _sure_? It wasn't one of your mates, was it? It was Derrick, wasn't it!" Shareen practically fell onto the seat next to him.

"Shareen! It wasn't Derrick! I don't know what exactly happened, but I'm fine, the explosion happened after I got out. I mean, obviously, seeing as I'm still alive and all. That wasn't just a little firecrakcer, Shareen, the concussive force probably – "

Then his mum had to burst in, too. Couldn't a guy get any peace around here?

"Betty's on the line! She knows a man on The Mirror, five hundred quid for an interview!"

"Oh, brilliant! Here." Joss said, tempted despite himself. He grabbed the phone from Jackie's proffered hand and slammed it down.

"Well, you've got to find some way of making money! Your job just blew up and I'm not paying for Uni. I'm already paying for your food, clothes, and lodging!"

"Your mum's right, y'know. Can't just mope around here all day, not my boyfriend." Shareen added. Why did they always gang up on him?

"I know, I know, just give me some time to get myself together, alright?"

Jackie didn't respond as the phone was already ringing again. She retreated into a conversation and Joss kneaded the bridge of his nose. He wanted to be _alone _for a bit –

"Is this tea? Joss, d'you want to go out, have a drink, get your mind off this? This is no good, moping around here with your mum." Shareen looked critically at him as she moved the mug to the coffee table. "This isn't _you_, Joss. You're never this miserable. I don't like it!"

Joss sighed. She was trying to be nice; Shareen didn't even _like _going out to the pub, preferring to stay at home and have more old-fashioned fun, but he really just needed some time to collect himself. He couldn't get her out of his mind, the explosion and that brilliant smile... What if she hadn't gotten out?

That was ridiculous. He hadn't even known her, didn't even know her name, 'the Huntress' wasn't a _proper _sort of name, just a title. Silly one, too, what did she hunt in _London_? Pedestrians? Joss snorted.

Oh, right. Conversation. Joss grinned, rather convincingly he thought, at Shareen. She was still inspecting him with the scrutiny of a future reporter. "Shareen, I'm fine. Go on, go hang out with your friends. I'm fine, really, just need a bit of space."

Shareen continued to stare at him for a moment before the facade crumbled. "Alright. But if you're still like this for the next couple days, I am going to _make _you cheer up." She threatened with a smile, and leaned in for a kiss. Joss obliged, glad he was finally getting somewhere. He tried to trip her, grinning weakly as she dodged, and pushed her playfully, not willing to sacrifice long tradition for a bit of introspection. Shareen waved and walked towards the door. "Bye, Joss!" She yelled as she walked out.

"Bye!" He replied.

The telly was still playing the story. Joss reached for the remote and shut it off.


	2. Joss -- Part Two

_Alright. For those of you following the story, I'm afraid to say there's no new chapter; I'm still working out a few kinks in the storyline. I decided to go with something new after all. I just felt like sixteen pages is a bit much to read in one go; I much prefer smaller chapters and this way I can update faster. I also fixed a few errors, though I have a sneaking suspicion I might've missed a few. I wasn't very thorough._

_On that note, is anyone willing to britpick? I am decidedly _not _British, so it might help._

_This is also a note on the sixth chapter so it won't be confusing for returning viewers._

* * *

Get up.

"No point in getting up, sweetie! No job to go to!"

Joss flopped back into the bed, staring at his very red ceiling. While the respite from work was definitely welcome, what if he had to drop out of college because of this? What would he do then? Man shops the rest of his life? But that wouldn't be fun! You couldn't _do _anything manning shops; there was too little vacation time and money. And too many explosions. Well, not usually, he supposed, usually manning shops was rather boring and somehow he found himself almost _wanting _to go back to the monotony. But you couldn't deny that it had been exciting.

Over breakfast, Jackie chattered about his future employment. "There's Finches, you could try them. They've always got jobs." She said speculatively.

Joss quirked an eyebrow at her. "Mum, I'd love to be a butcher, but can you _stop _dictating my future, please?"

Jackie sniffed. "Well, you need the work, don't you? I don't care if you're fluent in French and going to Uni for physics and've got all posh somewhere along the way, you'll always be my little boy." She said, grinning at Joss's disgusted expression. He rolled his eyes as she continued. "And I'm not joking about the compensation! Ariana got two thousand quid off the council just because the old man behind the desk said she looked Greek! I know she _is _Greek but that's not the point."

Jackie walked off to the bathroom, the prattling stopping.

The catflap rattled. Turning, startled, Joss made his way over to it. "Mum, you're such a liar! I told you to nail that down, we're gonna get strays!"

"I did that weeks back!"

"Yeah, you thought about it." Joss muttered, picking up a...

Nail?

Joss swallowed and poked the flap. Nothing happened. He opened it completely.

The Huntress was staring at him.

"What are _you _doing here?" They demanded at the same time as Joss straightened up so he could open the door.

Joss blinked. "It's my _house._ Or my mum's, I suppose, but I definitely have a better reason than you, at least!"

"Why d'you live _here_?" The Huntress demanded, craning skeptically over Joss's shoulder. Joss blocked the way protectively.

"Uni." Joss said. "And because somebody blew up my job." He added. The Huntress didn't seem to notice the barb.

"I must've got the wrong signal. You're not plastic by any chance?" Wordlessly, Joss shook his head, but this was unnecessary as the Huntress had already poked it. He huffed in indignation but the Huntress had already started talking again. "Nope. Sorry, bye then!"

Joss grabbed her before she could leave. "You. Inside. Right now."

"Who is it?"

"He's part of the inquiry bout last night. Won't take ten minutes." Joss bluffed.

"He deserves compensation." Jackie demanded.

"Oh, of course!" The Huntress said, easily playing along. She smiled at Jackie before following Joss.

"Could you get me some milk, please?" The Huntress said, surveying the room as Joss absentmindedly straightened a towering stack of papers. He'd never really cleaned up all his old assignments; the living room was a terrible mess.

"Yeah, sure. But more importantly, we should go to the police! Or something! I mean, there has to be someone who can do something, right? Like an alien department. There's got to be an alien department somewhere, right?" Joss babbled.

"Oh, of course." The Huntress said, reading through one of Jackie's magazines. "Not much use, though, are they?" She said, flipping through a book. "I've read better." She commented casually.

"How can they not be much use! Wait, are you saying there _is _an alien department?" He said, brain catching up with his mouth as he wheeled to stare at her. "Also, that is my book, and also someone _died_! Doesn't that affect you at all?"

The Huntress looked up and _stared. _Her eyes pinned him like an insect, a _mayfly. _Those eyes had seen centuries, those eyes spoke of horror and tragedy and blood, congealing around her soul, tainting it. _What have I seen?_ Joss wondered. A tiny city in a tiny country in a tiny world. Not even two decades, yet.

The Huntress looked away. "It could have been worse." She said quietly.

Joss believed her.

~-!-~

Joss turned back to getting the Huntress milk so he didn't have to look at her. "Hmm." She mused, sounding impossibly chipper. "Not good with cards, I see."

He wasn't sure he wanted to know what she was talking about. He asked anyway. "What?"

"Oh, just... stuff. It's a bit complicated, you wouldn't understand."

Joss instinctively bristled at her dismissive tone, then remembered those eyes and forced himself to relax. "Oh. Alright." He said, voice artificially calm. "I suppose you couldn't tell me anything else about – "

"Do you have a cat?" The Huntress interrupted.

Joss glared at the pitcher of milk. She might have ancient eyes, but she had just interrupted him in the middle of a perfectly good sentence! That would _not _stand. "No, though I suppose now we'll be getting strays in since you un-nailed the cat door. How did you do that, anyway? I mean, you didn't just, like, take a screwdriver... No, screwdrivers drive _screws, _Joss. Right there in the name. It would be a hammer, wouldn't it? With those prong things on the back? As I was _saying_... Actually, what _was _I saying? Something about explanations. Yes, that was it, I think. You owe me one! Or a few, even!"

He turned, ready with the milk, at this last statement, forgetting for a moment who she was.

She was pretending to be choked with a plastic hand. Joss said critically, "That's not even _funny. _Where'd you get that thing, anyway?"

With this, the Huntress finally managed to tug the hand away from her throat. It _hung in the air _and lunged at Joss. He didn't even have time to squeak before it was on his _face_, smothering him, blocking his view and oh, it really _wasn't _funny, was it? He tugged at it desperately, feeling slender, calloused hands cover his, before he crashed to the ground on top of her, papers flying everywhere before finding the couch more by luck than anything. _This is going to be hell to clean up_. Joss thought, strangely calm despite the burgeoning panic.

Then the thing was finally letting go and he could _breathe _and _see _and the Huntress was pointing a strange – wait, hadn't she used that on the elevator yesterday? What _was _it? Finally she put it right up to the hand and the fingers stopped twitching. Joss was immeasurably relieved.

"Well, that's that settled then." The Huntress commented. "I'll be off then. Goodbye!" At this she headed towards the door.

Joss ran after her. He couldn't let her just disappear and have the thought of her and her ancient eyes bug him forever. "Wait!" He yelled, as she exited the flat. "I don't even know your name! Your proper name, I mean, the Huntress isn't a _real _name, unless it's your last or something. I mean, I guess that _is _kind of last namey, but really it would probably be hunter, there weren't really too many huntresses when last names were being – "

The Huntress cut him off. _Again_. Why did everyone do that? "You talk too much. My name is the Huntress, nothing else, not a last name, not "Thea Huntress" or "Tess" or "Hunter. The Huntress."

Joss said, "Well, even if your name _is _the Huntress, you can't just swan off! There's aliens out there! They tried to kill me! They killed Wilson!"

"Two right answers! Give the boy a gold star! That's why I'm swanning off. Cheerio!" The Huntress said.

"You've got to tell me what's going on! You don't just..." Joss floundered, before settling for, "do that."

"No I don't. Yes I do."

Joss was struck with inspiration. "Alright then, I'll find that alien department. Tell everyone aliens exist. You said that people would die!"

It didn't have quite the effect Joss was looking for.

"Nah, don't do that, they're rubbish." The Huntress said casually.

"Everyone will know! The world will panic! And _people would die!_"

"Is that supposed to sound tough?" The Huntress asked.

"Sort of, yeah." Joss admitted, trying not to sound sheepish.

"Yeah, might want to work on that."

"Who are you?" Joss demanded.

"The Huntress! Told you. Three times, actually!"

"The Huntress." Joss said, and though his voice was incredulous, he found himself believing her.

"Hello! You really are thick, aren't you?"

"Excuse me? Okay then, _Huntress_, what is going on? C'mon, you can tell me, I saw all that." He gestured towards the arm the Huntress was still holding. An idea occurred to him. "Wait, are you part of that alien department?"

"In the past, kind of. I was just passing through, traveling, you know."

Joss demanded, "But how can you just be traveling? You knew exactly how to make the arm stop! And you said it was alien!"

"Yeah, and an alien expert can't travel? Should think it would help, check in on sightings, all that sort of thing."

"Yeah, but why were they attacking me?" Joss asked.

"Oh, like the world revolves around you. You were just in the way."

"It was suffocating me!"

"You were in the way; they were trying to kill me. You just happened to be in the same area."

"Alright, the shop, yeah, but it turned up in my _house!_"

"You'd met me."

"So you're saying that rather than revolving around _me_, instead the world revolves around _you_." Joss said.

"Sort of, yeah." The Huntress replied, her lips tugged upwards in a tiny smile.

Joss snorted. "So, you're admitting you're self-centered."

"Sort of, yeah."

Joss couldn't help but smile himself, but it didn't deter him from continuing the questioning. "So, aliens. Do you have a team or something?"

"No."

"You're on your own?" Joss replied, confused.

"Yes. Rassilon, how long does it take you to understand a simple fact!"

"But isn't there that department?"

"Nah, they're busy. Besides, they couldn't keep up." The Huntress gave him a brilliant grin. It looked wrong on her face, clashing all over with her eyes.

"There's things more important than living plastic to be busy with?" Joss said, still incredulous.

"Apparently. Otherwise they'd be here, don't you think?"

"Okay." Joss said, realizing she wasn't going give him any information about _why _they weren't here. "Alright. Living plastic, aliens, alright, whatever. How do you know about it, then?"

"I travel." The Huntress said.

"What? Just 'I travel?'"

"Yes!"

"Okay, okay! How did you kill the living plastic, then?"

"I killed the signal."

"Right. So just radio waves, basically? Lot less exciting than I thought it would be." Joss said, feeling disappointed.

"Thought control."

"What, like telepathy? Like _comics_?" Joss said, incredulous. Again. Maybe he should just start being perpetually incredulous to save himself the trouble.

"Yes."

"Uh, okay..."

"You alright?" The Huntress asked.

"Yeah. I guess. Who's controlling it, then?"

"Aliens."

"Right. Thank you for that. Really very informative. What's it all for, though? I mean, yeah, mannequins can be bloody terrifying, but you could only really take over the shops before someone stopped you, right? Though I suppose then you'd have the economy, and that would rather cripple – "

"No."

Joss pouted. The Huntress continued, the fake, hollow smile disappearing. "They want to take over the world." She looked at him. "Do you believe me?"

Joss was captivated by her eyes. They were the brown of mahogany, of dark chocolate, meant to radiate warmth and comfort and safety – but they were icy, and the contrast was terrifying. She didn't care if he was alright, not really; he was just a child caught up in things he didn't understand. An accident. One the doctors couldn't save.

"No." He lied. She looked away.

"You're still listening. And asking stupid questions."

"Really though, Huntress. Who are you?" Joss asked, desperately curious. It went beyond the name, beyond everything he understood. He couldn't help himself from asking, even though he expected only another sarcastic comment.

The Huntress looked at him for a long, long moment. He held her gaze, wishing that he could look away, but he didn't think that would ever again be an option. He was trapped. Joss realized, with some surprise, that he already _knew _who she was – the Huntress. One who ran, sometimes after her prey and sometimes prey herself. A woman with impossibly old, frigid eyes. A woman surrounded by enemies from all sides, no pack coming, who managed to survive anyway.

"We were talking about the Earth revolving, right?" She said, quietly, not blinking. Joss nodded, transfixed. "When you're a kid, they tell you the world is turning and you don't believe it, not really, because everything's standing still." Somehow she was standing right in front of him. Joss hadn't realized she'd moved. "I can feel it." She took his hand, and Joss shivered. He could almost feel it too, an echo of something incomprehensible and utterly terrifying. "The ground beneath our feet spinning, spinning, the entire planet rocketing around the sun too fast to be believed and I can _feel _it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go – "

The Huntress dropped his hand, and the spaces between his fingers felt empty. "That's who I am. Now forget me, Joss Tyler. Go home."  
Who's thick now? Joss wanted to scream, because how could he ever forget her after _that_?

He found himself returning to the flat nonetheless, his feet moving almost of their own accord, until he heard a sound that was distinctly, well, alien. He turned around just in time to see a blue box fade into thin air, and then there was nothing. No tall, brown haired woman vanishing onto a side street, nothing but the echoes of something impossible. Joss tried to convince himself that he'd done the sensible thing.


	3. Joss -- Part Three

He visited Mickey; he had a working computer and he needed to reassure himself, participate in something normal again_. And if we let go – _Joss shivered. He couldn't get those words out of his head, couldn't help but wonder how that sentence ended.  
"Hey, mate. How are you? After, you know." Mickey gestured vaguely.

"Fine." Joss said. "Just wondering if I could use your computer?"

"Yeah, sure. What for?"

"Just... you know... looking for a job." Joss lied. "I mean, don't exactly want to take my mum's advice."

Mickey laughed. "That musta been hard, mate, but I gotta say, that explosion was awesome. We should go out for a pint later, get your mind off it." Joss grinned. Alcohol sounded very nice right now. "Don't look at my emails!" He added as Joss shut the door.

~-!-~

Joss typed in 'huntress'.

He got links to a DC comic book character. He thought for a moment, before typing in 'huntress living plastic'. This got a result from an article about an experiment with plastic. It sounded fascinating, but that really wasn't what he was looking for right now.

He tried 'Huntress alien'.

More comic book sites. Frustrated, Joss shut off the computer and went home. He spent the rest of the afternoon in a horrible mood.

~-!-~

Mickey wondered idly what had gotten Joss in such a bad mood. He'd practically stormed out, slamming the door and everything. Of course, there was the job thing, but Mickey doubted he had been completely unable to find anything. And besides, who job searched on the internet?

He was tempted to check his history but decided against it; Joss was his own person, he could do what he wanted. Besides, he had better things to do. _His_ job hadn't blown up; he still had work and domestics to take care of. Even if you ate out every day, you still had to take out the trash. Actually, especially then.

Sighing, Mickey hauled the overfull bag to the nearest bin. He tried to open the lid.

It was stuck. Someone must've put superglue on or something for a prank. God, some people were immature, Mickey thought, choosing to ignore memories of pulling similar pranks.

Frowning, he pulled, and the plastic pulled away with. Alright, that was _not _normal. Frowning, he experimented with how far he could pull out, tempted to call for help. This was _weird_. He got the plastic to pull out about a foot before it snapped backwards and Mickey Smith vanished into the trash bin, his bag still sitting innocently on the sidewalk.

~-!-~

"Hey m-mate? Mate? Mate?"

"What?" Joss replied, annoyed. "That's not even funny, Mick."

"Yeah. Do you want to go out for a pint?"

Joss frowned. Hadn't Mickey asked before? Probably just having an off day. "Yeah, sure. The Red Fox?"

"Yeah. Bye."

Mickey had evidently put down the phone. Joss huffed at the dial tone and sarcastically muttered, "Bye, Mickey. So nice to talk to you."

~-!-~

"How're you? And where's everyone else? I mean, thanks and all, but I'm really not interested, Mick." Joss said, expecting anger and an explanation. The whole situation really _was_ odd, actually. Mickey looked strange, sounded strange – everything was a bit off.

"So where did you meet this Huntress?"

"Mickey, how did you even find out about that?" Joss said, annoyed, his unease building. "I mean, it's your computer but that doesn't give you the right to go snooping about!"

"I reckon it all started back at the shop, am I right? Something to do with that?"

"Mickey, it's none of your business! Just drop it! Is this why we're here, then? Just talking about the Huntress? Why are you so interested? She's not even – I mean, she's _different, _Mick. Little bit dangerous, I think." Joss lied. He didn't think she was a little bit dangerous; he thought she was the most dangerous person he had ever met. Somehow, though, simultaneously, there lurked underneath someone capable of protecting – what? Well, her secrets, definitely. And those couldn't be small.

_Maybe the world. _He thought, and it was inadequate. _Maybe the universe. _But that was just silly...

"Oh, c'mon, J-j-j-oss m-mate, mate, mate, Joss. You can tell me! I'm your best m-mate, mate, mate, right?"

"Right..." Joss said, staring intently at Mickey's face. There was something off, the hair a little too uniform, everything a bit too shiny, and that verbal tick was unnerving. He could almost think of why, just on the edge of his consciousness...

Mickey was focusing completely on Joss and Joss returned the favour, more out of nervousness than anything else. "Just tell me where the Huntress is! I need to find out how much she knows!"

"Mickey, you're – "

At this point an empty tray passed through Mickey's head. And then hand reformed into this slab thing and there was no blood. No bones, no joints, and _oh god Mickey was an evil plastic mannequin thing. _What had they _done _to him?

Joss was too paralyzed to do anything at this point as the Huntress wrestled with one of his _best mates _and then literally _popped his head off, _crashing into a table as she did so. He should be doing something, anything, but was he supposed to –

Oh god he was still alive! Well, plastic wasn't really alive and Mickey certainly _seemed _to be plastic so far but, but, what in _bloody hell _was going on here? None of this made any _sense. _

People were screaming and he should be too, Joss noted with a peculiar sense of detachment. But he wasn't. Huh.

Neither was the Huntress. She was smiling.

He had to _do _something or else he was going to go insane, not that insanity was too far off at this point. Looking around frantically, Joss's eyes swept over the fire alarm on the opposite wall about three times before he thought to actually go over and press it. "Everyone out, right this instant!" He yelled.

Amongst the general panic that ensued, Mickey, well, Mickey's body, well, the thing that had been Mickey was chasing them. There had been rather a lot of running recently, Joss noted. It was too bad; he'd always hated running. Although it held a certain attraction when the other option was death by plastic mannequin thing that used to be one of your mates – or maybe the other way around. Wait, no, that wouldn't make sense, not that anything _else _was at the moment either so perhaps he could be excused for the lapse –

They needed to get out of here and the Huntress was just walking along! She'd buzzed the doors with the stick thing again, at least, but what was she _doing?_

"Open the gate! That thing should work for this, right? Please tell me it works for gates!"

"Sonic screwdriver." The Huntress said, completely failing to answer his question.

"I don't actually care what it's called, just use it!" Joss said, trying to block out how shrill his voice sounded. And there was that box again, the one that had disappeared, just completely _disappeared _into thin air.

"Why? I've got transport right here." She said, gesturing vaguely at the box.

Joss gaped at her. "What, the two of us in there? You're mad!"

She beamed at him. "Of course! Come on, wouldn't want him getting through that while we're still here, would we?

She opened the door and went inside. The _metal _door had dents in it. The box was wooden. And the Huntress was completely bonkers.

Well, it made as much sense as the _rest _of the day, in any case, and what else was he supposed to do? She wasn't coming out, was she?

Joss ran in and closed the door behind him.


	4. Joss -- Part Four

"Wh-what?" He sputtered.

This was impossible. It was _completely _impossible and more than that utterly mad and made no sense whatsoever and just, "What? _What?_"

Joss opened the door, not even caring about Mickey any more. He circled the very wood, very small, very blue box.

He ducked in once again, unable to believe it. "Oh my god. It's bigger on the inside! Like, the _inside _is literally _bigger _than the outside! The outside is smaller! How did you _do _that? You can't just do that! That's completely impossible! Biggers aren't – I mean, outsides aren't sma – I mean _it's bigger on the inside_!"

"Oh really. Hadn't noticed." The Huntress said, smiling at him a little before turning back to the circular console that was bigger than the outside that hosted it even by itself, without even the rest of the room.

"How can you not _notice_? I mean, it's not just bigger on the inside, it's smaller on the outside! You don't just pop into a box and see that sort of thing! It doesn't happen!" Joss babbled. God, it would have to be – no, he couldn't think of any explanation but magic, and magic didn't happen _either. _

"Yeah, you'll find a lot of things that don't happen happen around me. Shut up."

Joss took deep breaths, trying to distract himself from the situation at hand. Alright, they were in a box that was bigger on the inside, and his best mate was plastic and trying to kill them, and –

"Wait a second! Mickey was about to break through but I haven't heard anything!" Joss said, the receding panic rushing back in.

"Nah, this old thing's stronger than some rouge Auton. You'd be surprised what's tried to break in here. Key word: _tried_. Not succeeded."

"Oh, okay, makes me feel _so _much better." Joss muttered. "Why did you take off his head? It didn't actually _do _anything, did it?"

"Oh, that's so I can trace the signal. Doesn't work with an arm." The Huntress replied casually, as if she did this sort of thing every day.

Maybe she did, though. How would he knew? He barely knew her.

"Are you – " Joss stopped himself, unable to believe what he'd almost asked, and then asked it anyway. "Are you alien?"

"Yeah. That alright?" She asked.

"Oh. Uh, I guess so." He said, staring at her. "You don't _look _ alien." He said, unable to stop himself.

"Nope." She said.

"How does that work?" Joss asked helplessly.

"Oh, you know, convergent evolution, and it's a pretty good body shape. Mind you, we had it first." She said.

"So what are you then?" Joss asked, brain screaming at him to ask a million questions, but for some reason his mouth wasn't working properly right now. Maybe it hadn't been getting enough exercise recently?

"Time Lord. Or, more properly, lady, but lord generally works for the species at large."

"Oh, interesting name! So how does that work? Are you the extreme time keepers of the wor- I mean universe, or does your planet have the basic unit of time measurement for the universe, or are you just very economical in your time management – wait. If you're an alien why do you sound like you're from the North? Wouldn't you have a different accent?"

"You're taking this surprisingly well, if you can call that 'well'." The Huntress said derisively. "Anyway, lots of planets have a north. Time Lords are... complicated."

"Wait, so your accent just _happens _to match up _exactly _with a northern one? That doesn't – beyond the fact that you already _look _human – but – what?" Joss stuttered.

"It's usually best to just ignore the implausible." The Huntress advised.

Joss scrunched his eyes shut in an attempt to make the world make sense again. It didn't work.

"Alright, so what's with the ship?" He asked, giving up.

"Oh, this is my TARDIS. Stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space." The Huntress said casually.

Joss' brow furrowed for a moment as he parsed the name. "Wait, so... Time for Time Lords, right? And then... I think you said it was a vehicle of some sort, before? So that would be the space thing. "

"Very clever." The Huntress looked vaguely approving. "Wrong, of course, but clever nonetheless."

"So what's it mean, then?" Joss asked.

"Bit complicated, that question." The Huntress said.

"Yes, well, I'd like an ans- Mickey's melting!" Joss observed suddenly.

"What?" The Huntress said, looking comically lost for a moment. "Oh, no no no no no!" She began running around the console, doing who knew what. "The signal, it's fading!"

Joss surveyed the room, which had begun tilting and making that strange... grind-y noise that he'd heard before. The Huntress had focused in on the console, and she was muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Almost there, girl. You've got it, just a little more!"

Joss had no time to process the fact that the Huntress was talking to this machine more like a pet than, well, a machine. She was already running out the door.

"Wait, but isn't there – " He protested, running after her instinctively.

But no, instead of the small gated area they'd been in before, now the – TARDIS, right? She'd called it a TARDIS, he was pretty sure – was overlooking the city skyline. It was a breathtaking view. This was not because it was particularly pretty, although it was that as well. It was mostly just because it was one of the last things Joss had been expecting.

Apart from, of course, the entire day so far.

Welllll, he _had_ always wanted to be an astronaut...


	5. Joss -- Part Five

"I lost the signal. I was so _close_, and then I _lost _it! Dammit!"

"We're... not where we were before."

"Yes. Very astute observation."

Joss chose to ignore the sarcasm. "How does that work, exactly? I mean, wouldn't people notice a blue box flying across the sky?"

"Yeah, they would, which is why it doesn't do that. The TARDIS disappears here, reappears there. You wouldn't get the technical explanation."

"Alright, but... Mickey!" Joss was appalled with himself. He'd been so caught up in the excitement of, well, everything, that he'd completely forgotten his best mate. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

"Mickey?" And the Huntress didn't even sound as if she _cared_.

"He's my best mate! Where is he? Is he dead?"

"I – "

"You don't know, do you?" Joss accused, seeing the look in her eyes. "You completely forgot about him!"

"Yeah, so?" The Huntress snapped. "Maybe I did, seeing as I was busy _trying to save this entire planet_! You have no idea, do you? You don't really get it. Well, let me tell you something, Joss Tyler: the world is bigger than you and your precious best mate, and the universe is bigger still! Excuse me if I forgot about some stupid ape while I was _attempting,_" she spat, "to save all the rest of you daft monkeys!"

Joss was ready to snap back, ready to say something scathing, something that would make her _see _that Mickey was _important_, that he _mattered_. He opened his mouth, a rejoinder ready, when he caught the Huntress' gaze.

He shut up.

After an awkward moment where no one said a word, he forced out – "What's a police public call box, anyway?"

At this, the Huntress smiled. Her severe persona seemed to melt away, the angles of her face less harsh, the planes less jagged. "She's a telephone box from the 1950s! It's a disguise. I'm afraid she got rather stuck this way, once."

"What were you doing, visiting an antique convention?" Joss said, his face involuntarily pulling into a smile as well. He couldn't help it, she just seemed so suddenly _happy_.

"Something like that." The Huntress said vaguely.

The conversation stalled again, and Joss reached madly for a conversation topic, anything. The Huntress certainly didn't look like she was going to start anything. "So – those living plastic things, what do they have against us, exactly?"

"Nothing. The Nestene Consciousness rather likes this planet, actually – all the pollution, perfect for a species like them. Their food stock got destroyed a long time ago so the Earth, well, you're dinner."

"And you're gonna stop them, how?" Joss said, unable to stop himself from sounding vaguely doubtful. Yeah, she was an alien and her spaceship had an absolutely unimaginable level of technology, but the plastic Mickey thing... that'd been _scary._

"Antiplastic." The Huntress presented a tube with some sort of dark blue fluid in it – antiplastic, Joss supposed.

"Antiplastic?" He asked, somewhat skeptical. _Come on,_ he thought, _that sounds like a bad science fiction show._

"Antiplastic!" The Huntress confirmed, her face lit up once again with that impossibly wide smile. "But first I've gotta find the transmitter."

"Wait, transmitter?" Joss said, hopelessly confused for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

"Yes, transmitter! The Consciousness is controlling every piece of plastic in the city, so of course it needs a transmitter to send the signals."

"What's it look like?"

"It'll be round, and it has to be _really_ big – gotta be in the middle of London, too, best place to put it. Metal, circular – it'll be like a dish, a wheel – only question is where are they _hiding_ it? They have to have made it completely invisible."

Joss had to stifle giggles.

"What?" The Huntress asked.

"Behind you." He suggested.

The Huntress turned. "Oh." She said shortly.

Joss nodded. "Yep."

"Oh. Well. Ah, fantastic job, I suppose."

She rushed off, and he took off after her, seeing little other option.

The next thing he knew, he was running down a busy street holding hands with an alien – an _alien_, and they were going to stop _plastic_, living plastic, from taking over the world.

They stopped in front of the London Eye, and the Huntress started talking. "Think of it, Joss Tyler! All that plastic, all the artificial things in the entire world just waiting to come to life – the shop window dummies, the toys, the wires, the cables – "

"The breast implants." Joss couldn't help but interrupt. The Huntress continued, apparently unbothered by his lack of decorum.

"The Consciousness'll be somewhere underneath."

She ran off again, and Joss followed.

"What about there?" He asked, pointing to a particular manhole.

"Looks good to me!" She said.

They rushed down the stairs, and the Huntress unscrewed the lid, revealed a distinctly red-lit room. It was eerily quiet as the Huntress led Joss onto a metal platform of sorts.

"That's it." The Huntress said, pointing out a writhing mass of red-yellow magma. Or at the very least, Joss amended, that was what it _looked_ like. "A living plastic creature."

"It's..." It was his first alien life. Well, no, if the Huntress really _was_ an alien – and he was inclined to believe her, with what he'd seen – but his first alien that actually looked... well, alien-ish. "Well, perfect chance right here, right? Tip in the anti-plastic." Joss suggested, with only a tiny niggling bit of reluctance. But it had _killed _Mickey, he reminded himself, gone forever just because this thing needed a _meal..._

_Not much difference than us with a cow, though, is there?_ Some annoyingly logical part of his brain said. _Shut up_. He told himself, angrily.

"I'm not here to kill it. Gotta give it a chance, first."

Joss was a little bit relieved about her declaration, but mostly he was just nervous. His life had suddenly spun out of control, and it didn't really seem like it was going to get better any time soon. He wondered, suddenly, if it was like this for her all the time.

He wondered if it would be a bad thing, if it was.


	6. Joss -- Part Six

_Alright. For those of you following the story, I'm afraid to say there's no new chapter; I'm still working out a few kinks in the storyline. I decided to go with something new after all. I just felt like sixteen pages is a bit much to read in one go; I much prefer smaller chapters and this way I can update faster. I also fixed a few errors, though I have a sneaking suspicion I might've missed a few. _

_On that note, is anyone willing to britpick? I am decidedly _not _British, so it might help._

_This is also a note on the second chapter so it won't be confusing for returning viewers._

* * *

"I seek audience with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful contract according to convention fifteen of the Shadow Proclamation." The Huntress said, her voice authoritative in a way he hadn't really heard before.

The Nestene Consciousness made some weird shriek-y noises, apparently replying.

"Thank you. May I have permission to approach?"

The Nestene Consciousness said something again, but Joss had more important things on his mind. He'd just spotted Mickey again, _really _Mickey, not some murderous plastic approximation and, miraculously, not dead either. He rushed down to him, the Huntress following with a long suffering head shake.

"Mickey, it's me! Are you okay, mate?" He asked.

Mickey looked terrified. "That thing down there – it was talking."

"Yeah, it was. Huntress, why'd they keep him alive?"

"Yeah, thought they might be doing that. It maintains the copy better."

"You knew that and you didn't tell me?"

"I had more important things on my mind." She descended further as she spoke.

Joss consciously chose not to argue as the Huntress stood on a platform directly in front of the writhing... thing.

Alien.

Whatever.

"Am I addressing the Consciousness?"

More shrieking. From up close, it was easier to see the strange bubbling and movements Joss was _pretty_ sure magma would never be able to make.

"Thank you." The Huntress continued. "If I may observe, you infiltrated this world by means of warped, shunt technology. So may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off?" She smiled, but it seemed less real than some of the others Joss had already seen.

More shrieking yet, and movements that were _definitely_ not magma-ish.

"Oh, don't give me that, it's an _invasion_, plain and simple! Don't talk about constitutional rights."

Shrieking.

"I-am-talking, thank you very much! This planet has just started. Its stupid little monkeys have only just learned how to walk, but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you to go. Please."

It was at this point that Joss noticed the Autons, but he had no time to properly warn the Huntress before they had already seized her. "Huntress!" He yelled, but it was too late.

Random shrieking in the background as one of the Autons discovered the antiplastic.

"That was just insurance – I wasn't going to actually _use_ it – "

Too late. The Nestene Consciousness was _angry_ now, if Joss was any judge.

"I wasn't attacking you! I'm here to help, promise!"

The Nestene Consciousness said something.

"What do you mean you have my TARDIS? No, no, no, this is _not okay _you do _not _get to do this – yes, that's my ship but that doesn't mean..."

More shrieking.

"No, that's not true! I was there, I fought in the war but it wasn't my _fault_!"  
Joss didn't think he could really imagine the Huntress crying, but right now... right now she looked a little like she wanted to.

"I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!" Her voice broke on the last word.

Finally, he couldn't bear it. "What's it doing? Why is it so upset?" He asked.

"The TARDIS! The Nestene is threatened by her technology; it's terrified! It's starting the invasion now. Get out, Joss! Get out, now!"

He was frozen, paralyzed. He couldn't leave the Huntress but then there was – his mother! He was underground, there was no way his cellphone would work but – she would be shopping, knowing Jackie – was that _lightning_?

It was one of the strangest things he had ever seen, and that was saying something, after today. There was a bowl of lightning over the still-moving alien.

"That's the activation signal! It's transmitting!" The Huntress sounded panicked.

"Everything in the world." Joss muttered, thinking with a pang of his mother, of shop window dummies and plastic wires and an army of cars who drove themselves, because tires were plastic too, weren't they? The thought should have been terrifying, but if felt distanced, strangely unreal. Like something happening to someone else.

"Come on! Just get out! Run!" The Huntress commanded.

Joss considered it. He even turned towards the exit, but – "The stairs have gone!"

His next thought was the TARDIS – if it could survive the Autons, and apparently the army of Genghis Khan, than surely it could wait this out, right? He and Mickey would be fine.

Or they _would_ have been, had the doors not been locked.

"I haven't got the key!" Joss said, for no reason at all, frustrated almost to tears with the unfairness of it all. They were going to die, and he had just seen so _much._

Joss turned to look at the Huntress. Mickey was panicking, the Huntress was trapped by two Autons, who were also holding the antiplastic. In short, the world was falling apart around him and he had absolutely no idea what to do.

He thought of his mother, probably panicking, maybe even dead. He thought of an encroaching army of plastic figurines. The Huntress was looking at him, and he thought of what she would do, in his place. If he were the one practically pinned to the ground by Autons. Mickey was practically cowering into his arms, and honestly, Joss couldn't blame him, though he promised himself that if they got out of this alive he was going to tease him mercilessly for the rest of forever.

He summoned all his courage, and he ran for the nearest rope.

"I haven't got a job. My classmates voted me 'Least Likely to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse'. I failed every PE class I ever took. I'm just a poor boy from Powell Estates. But you know what I'm good at? You know what I'm _really _good at?"

Confidence building now, or maybe it was just adrenaline, he smirked, teeth looking sharp and maybe even dangerous in the red lighting.

"Angles."

He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut...

And jumped.

If he was gonna die anyway, might as well make the occasion memorable.

~-!-~

There was yet more screeching. Joss clung for dear life and hoped that meant it had worked.

The Huntress caught him, and as they ran away, the explosion practically deafened him. _So probably it _did_ work_, he thought, a little bit surprised.

They made it into the TARDIS, pulling Mickey along, who still looked terrified. Joss caught one last glance of the Nestene Consciousness exploding in white light as the Huntress rushed around the console and her ship began to shake and make that strange sound again. He supposed that that meant they were travelling.

One short trip later, Mickey practically fell out of the TARDIS, unreasonably freaked out by the entire situation. Joss called his mum.

"Joss!" Jackie said immediately. Joss felt like his face would split in two. She was _alright_! "Joss, don't go out of the house, there were these _things, _and they were – "

Joss shut the phone off. Yeah, Jackie would be alright. He wasn't sure he could say the same about Mickey, though... and _especially_ not his pride.

"Fat lot of good you were, cowering in the corner like some sorta girl." He snorted.

Mickey still looked a little shellshocked, but he had no chance to reply before the Huntress stepped into the conversation, still standing in the doorway of the TARDIS.

"Nestene Consciousness? Easy." She said, snapping her fingers. As if _she'd_ done anything.

Joss rolled his eyes. "Oh, _please_. You were useless; you'dve been dead if it weren't for me."

"Yeah, maybe a bit. Thanks." The platitude wasn't nearly as stiff as Joss had been expecting. "So, I guess I'll be going then... unless..."

She hesitated, looking very vulnerable. Joss furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at her.

"You'd like to go with me?" She finished, after an unbearably long moment. "The TARDIS isn't just London hopper, y'know. She'll go anywhere in the universe, free of charge."

For the first time in what seemed an age, Mickey actually spoke, and perhaps he wasn't quite as composed as Joss had thought. "Don't. She's an alien, she's a _thing_!"

"_He's_ not invited." The Huntress said, nodding at Mickey. Not that Joss could blame her, after she'd just been called a 'thing'. When, exactly, had Mickey completely lost both his backbone and his manners? "What d'you think? You could stay here, get up, get dressed, go to work, every day the same, or you could come with me. Anywhere."

Now it was Joss's turn to hesitate. He imagined the stars, a million billion planets, the entire universe open to him.

He imagined the Nestene Consciousness, the terrified certainty that he would die, right now, on this silly little rock without ever really seeing anything.

"Is it always this dangerous?" He asked.

"Yeah." The Huntress said, sounding almost as if she thought that were a good thing. Joss didn't quite know that it wasn't.

He looked at Mickey, and thought of Shareen, thought of the life he would leave behind.

"I can't. I mean, I've got college, and... this lump would be useless without me, y'know. And there's my mum, she'd be so worried if I just went off, with an alien, no less..." He said.

The Huntress... didn't really look sad at all.

Her face was an emotionless mask, except those eyes.

Those eyes said it all, more than the half-hearted "Okay," the clearly unfeeling "See you around."

She closed the door, and the box that was so much more than just a box vanished into thin air, the wheezing, grinding sound fading away just as quickly as the box itself.

Joss watched the spot where it had been for half a second before turning back. He had a life to return to, a life that somehow felt deeply unsatisfying when compared with the stars. "C'mon, Mick, let's go. What're you, a noodle?"

And then...

The grinding, somehow futuristic but utterly strange sound came back.

Joss whirled to face the reappearing box.

"By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?"

And who could resist a pickup line like _that_?

"Thanks." Joss said to Mickey, not really sure what else to say.

Mickey managed a puzzled "For what?"

Joss shrugged and smiled, not certain himself.

He took one last look at his old life, and then ran, laughing, into his new one.


	7. The Forgotten Children -- Part One

_Hello again! So now the adventure's really starting. I fixed chapters four and five after gabbygirl89 pointed out that they were mixed up and what was formerly chapter five had the same stuff over again. Sorry about that! I've also decided to add a quote before each 'episode', so I went back and added one to the first chapter. You can go read it if you want. _

_As I'm sure you noticed, I have a cover image now! That's the Huntress. It's not the best; I didn't spend too much time on it, and also I had to crop it strangely because FF only accepts a certain size. If you want, there's a better version on deviantart; just search 'succedaneous' and it will be one of two photos._

* * *

**Growing up, I was taught that a man has to defend his family. When the wolf is trying to get in, you gotta stand in the doorway.**

**B. B. King**

* * *

_Joss took one last look at his old life, and then ran, laughing, into his new one._

He glanced at the impossible console room of the TARDIS before once again focusing his attention on the Huntress.

"Right then!" The Huntress said, sounding business-like. "Where do you wanna go? Backwards or forwards?"

"Oh, I don't know." Joss thought of it, all the world open to him. He could go see people who had already _died_, anyone in the world, and the entire _planet's_ history was open to him. But then again, its future...

He decided that he already knew at least a little about the past, but the future would be entirely new.

"Future. I mean, forwards." He said, slightly flustered.

The Huntress pressed a few buttons and spun a few wheels. "Okay, how far?"

"Uh..." Joss grinned nervously. "You decide." He had absolutely _no_ idea.

"Alright, random it is! Give us something good, old girl." The Huntress said.

More buttons were pushed and more dials were spun. The TARDIS began shaking and making that strange grinding sound – Joss decided to call it a 'vworp' sound, although that wasn't it really, just for something to call it. It went on for what felt like quite some time, though Joss was sure it couldn't really be _that_ long. Then again, what did he know about traveling through space and time?

"Outside, that's..." The Huntress consulted a particular dial. "Strange, we've went quite a ways. We're about five billion years in your future. You lot are calling it 5.5/apple/26."

Joss blinked. "Apple?" He said slowly, trying to comprehend the rest of the statement and absolutely failing.

"It's a month. Good choice, too; glad we're here instead of banana." She said.

"Hey, what's wrong with bananas? They're _much_ better than _apples_, anyway." Joss defended.

"Apples are the _best_ fruit. Or, no, no, forget I said that! Pomegranates, definitely pomegranates. Did you know that there's a place in the Lisica System that's got pomegranate-flavored fruit as big as your head? No little seeds or inedible bits, either; pure pomegranate."

"But that's half the fun!" Joss protested, getting into the argument. "See, pomegranates are _challenges_. You've got to work at them. It makes them taste better." He nodded knowingly.

The Huntress shrugged. "I guess. Are we going out or not? Ready for five billion years?"

"Oh, yes, right!" Joss said, rushing for the door.

~-!-~

Joss was beginning to think there was no way to either exit or enter the TARDIS without becoming completely gobsmacked.

The Earth was... a bit ravaged.

In specific, there looked to be abandoned ruins just about everywhere. Plant life had taken over most everything, and the only thing moving was the wind.

"Oh." The Huntress said softly.

"What? What happened?" Joss said, looking wildly around as if expecting to find the human race lurking in some undiscovered corner. "I mean, isn't there supposed to be towering cities, smog everywhere, stuff like that? I was expecting flying cars, not a jungle. Are you_ sure_ this is Earth five billion years from now?" He accused.

"Joss, I forgot. The Earth is about to be demolished."

Joss stilled.

"Wh...what?" He said, not sure he had heard her correctly. "But... where is everyone, then? How are they even going to_ do_ that? It's not like they can just bring in a wrecker." He snorted.

"We've got to get out of here. C'mon, Joss." The Huntress said, practically him back to the TARDIS. "We can watch from the moon, if you want, but we can't stay here. I don't know why she brought us, but we're gonna have to find something else to do."

"Wait." Joss said. "I thought I saw something..."

"It doesn't matter! Probably just the wind! Now come _on_!" The Huntress demanded.

"No, but..."

"Hello."

Joss started violently, and the Huntress whirled so fast she could've been a top.

"I'm Serla Strashun!" The little girl commented brightly, looking absolutely at home among the ruined landscape. Her clothes were mismatched and obviously home made, and she was barefoot, but she seemed not to mind at all.

"You shouldn't be here." The Huntress said, almost accusingly.

The girl – Serla – nodded seriously. "My mommy says that too. Wanna come meet her? I've never seen anyone like you before!"

"No, but the Earth is about to be _destroyed_. You can't be here, you really, really can't." The Huntress said.

"Huntress?" Joss said. "Umm, I don't think it matters if she can't be here, because obviously she is. I think we should probably follow her. I mean, we haven't seen anyone else here and if the world really is gonna be destroyed, maybe we she warn them? She said she had a mom, right? I'm pretty sure she said that. By the way, how can I understand her? Wouldn't language patterns have shifted? I don't_ think_ I know any future languages, anyway – "

"You're funny." Serla giggled.

"Yes, he is." The Huntress knelt to talk to the little girl face to face, smiling encouragingly. "But he's right. Can we come see your parents?"

"Yeah! Our house is over here." The girl practically skipped through the city-turned-forest, seemingly unimpaired by the pervasive vines and the uneven footing.

"Just this way!" She called encouragingly, when Joss fell behind. The Huntress wasn't having any trouble either, an entirely unjust situation. He didn't really have the energy – or the concentration – to be properly outraged, though, mostly because he had just tripped on a root.

For the rest of the trek, he focused mostly on his feet, trying not to trip again. He did anyhow, but Joss decided to call it a success because at least he had reached their destination, which was apparently a populated-looking clearing, at all. Though he was panting by the time they made it, unlike both Serla _and_ the Huntress. _Unfair,_ he thought. Serla couldn't be older than ten, and... well... admittedly, the Huntress probably _was_ much more fit than him. Well,_ fine_ then. He pouted, thoroughly outclassed.

"This," Serla gestured dramatically, "Is the last remnant of the human race!"


End file.
